Bree Bonchay, LCSW, is a psychotherapist with over 18 years of experience working in the field of mental health and trauma recovery. She specializes in helping people recover from toxic relationships and shares her insights about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and psychopathy in her blog FreeFromToxic. Her articles have been featured in major online magazines and she has appeared on radio as a guest expert. In addition, she is a dedicated advocate, educator and facilitates survivor supports groups and workshops. Her book, I Am Free, is the first non-fiction anthology raising awareness about the damaging effects of pathological relationships.






21 thoughts on “ABOUT

  1. I just found your blog by following a link about one of your posts. I find your site to be refreshing, honest helpful & informative. I was married over 20 years to a Svengali narcissistic psychopath that I finally managed to escape from – after I had lost everything – including my only child. I have discovered a treasure trove of information on your site to share with my readers – I am following your blog & will return frequently. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do to help others!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A quick question, one we forget to ask as web-site people who can easily link. But I want to ask permission as in the not-too-distant future I will be bringing up a site primarily about divorce recovery. What is you policy regarding linking, article attribution/credit, etc.? I will be “joining” relationshipedia (great name by the way) so that if you wish to communicate offline you can find my email but figured this was a good place to post so that others will read your answer.


  3. Pingback: THIS is NO WAY to LIVE … with a narcissist | reneerobertskopp

  4. Thank you very much for your site Bree !
    It is such a relief to have the chance to get in contact with people who do understand…
    Until three years ago I tought I am the only person in the world that suffers an unbelievable situation….I almost gave up,because noone wanted to believe me !
    I was isolated even more…

    But now, I have found new power and lust for life !!!!
    Very nice done,Bree !
    So wonderful !

    Christiane Carradine

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know it’s hard to describe them narcissistic abuse that you endured in 2000 words or less. Everyone feels like they have to tell their story from beginning to end. But if you focus your story to one of the topic ideas listed on the website it will still have a major impact. Try to narrow it down to a specific topic whether it be gaslighting, discard, your worst day, the moment you realized you were with a narcissist, triangulation, a turning point. The compilation of stories that will give a complete picture of what narcissistic abuse is. Write about something that stands out in your mind. I hope that helps. And we look forward to reading your work. ~ Bree


  5. Bree, My name is Kay. I am the Executive Director of the National Alliance for Targeted Parents (targetedparent.com) We are a nonprofit, grassroots, organization of parents fighting to stop our narcissistic ex-partners from psychologically abusing our children. We never give up trying to save our children, despite being the target of the abuser’s relentless, retaliatory abuse and the staggering lack of support from law enforcement, mental health and legal professionals.

    It’s one thing to get away yourself, and another thing when your have children with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. The divorce itself causes the Narc. to “melt down” into persecutory delusions and we are the target. They then triangulate the children into a cross-generational coalition against us. Then they induce the children to; suppress their attachment to us, share the narcissistic delusion, and mirror narcissistic and borderline traits. It is the cruelest type of torture anyone can inflict on a parent and it also causes severe damage to the children’s developing brain. Because the charismatic narc is now backed up by children, who express hatred and resistence to have any relationship with us, courts give these abusers custody in over 3/4 of the high conflict custody disputes.

    This is an extremely timely topic with all the profound research on attachment and brain development. Injured narcissistic ex-partners are extremely dangerous, yet year after year they continue to pscyhologically abuse thier children to be used as abuse weapons against the other parent. It is a complex scientific dynamic, but it has a very simple solution. The children express painfully obvious symptoms of child psychological abuse confirmed, by the DSM-V. as described above, As with any type of child abuse there must be protective separation from the narcissistic abuser during the time the child reestablishes thier authentic self and thier attachment with their emoitonally available parent. Their symptoms can disappear in as few as 4 days and the children develop a resistance to falling back into the control of that parent. The Narcissitic parent can be reintroduced after a few months, bu tif the symptoms return, the separation may have to be more long term.

    We really need experts in this area in a number of ways. I hope you can expand you discussion to include how devestating it is for the ex-parnter and the children of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. I’d love to tell you what we are doing, and would appreciate your support by signing up on our website for our weekly news and updates.

    Thank you for launching your site. It fills a real need.



    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Kay, thank you for sharing this very important topic. I’ve been wanting to address this topic as it is so prevalent and plan to post articles on this subject after the beginning of the new year. You have my full support and I would love to receive your weekly news and updates. Thank you for helping parents and children that are being emotionally and psychologically abused by narcissistic parents post divorce who then have to endure further mistreatment and not managed properly in our family courts. ~ Bree


  6. Bree:

    Just discovered this site and keep reading, reading, reading as I break my addiction.

    The tab at the top MEMES ABOUT NARCISSIST is broken. Generates a page not found error on you site (not generic error message)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Do the narcissist know what they r doing to u? The words love bombing– gaslighting? .. The one i was involved with did everything listed- i caught on yet hung on- im still sad and depressed- i fought for doing whats right and knew he had no self sorry- but the abuse was un real


    • I believe they know exactly what they’re doing but I also believe that their behavior is so automatic for them. In the same way kind and compassionate people don’t think about being kind and compassionate, they just naturally are.


  8. I’ve been privileged to be helping a friend through recovery from a narc-ex for 3 years now. Narc-ex did the expected and married a new supply within a year of the divorce. The new supply has recently reached out to my friend, mostly because my friend’s adult daughter recommended it. I’ve been searching online for advice on this scenario without much success. Thoughts?


  9. I am a huge fan of yours, stunning and with amazing information. You really helped me in my last break up with a narcissist.


  10. So glad I found your site.It was the right time to let go although I wanted to at earlier times. Nearly one week into No Contact I’m now going Stover one day at a time. Can’t wait to read more of your blog. Thank you.


  11. I am SO glad I found your stie! I have had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a Mother/Daughter duo of Narcisissists while dating a guy. We are still friends, and it drives both of them crazy and they’re still trying their manipulative tactics on me and him! It’s really nice to know that I’m not alone in dealing with this-thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I know that drug/alcohol abusers can display traits of a narcissist. Do they display all of them though? Like the gaslighting and phrasing specifically used to mess up a spouse? And if the drug/alcohol abuser only indulges 2-3 a month and displays all of the narcissist’s traits could it still be just from the substance abuse? Once they stop abusing drugs/alcohol how long until you know it wasnt just that?


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