The Reasons Why Narcissistic Parents Designate A Scapegoat & A Golden Child 

Narcissistic parents who appear to be great parents are the worst of all. These toxic parents are the ones who you would never suspect. They could be active members of the PTA. They may be regular church goers, the beloved community leaders or the ones who regularly donate to charities.

On the outside, they appear to be wonderful doting parents with perfect lives. The pillars of society. But in the privacy of their own homes, they’re bullies. They are tyrannical. They run their homes with all the love of an incubator, and their children are mere ornaments.

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A Simple Remedy For Feeling Better After Narcissistic Abuse

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If you’re struggling to heal from and move on after narcissistic abuse, you’re probably frustrated that it’s taking so long. Healing from narcissistic abuse is so much more complicated than healing from a regular break up. This is why the typical breakup advice and tips not only don’t work but often times leave you feeling even worse off and wondering if something is wrong with you? The popular breakup wisdom that advises you that you will feel better if you find a new hobby and change up your hairstyle doesn’t help you to get over it any faster. The common remedies for a broken heart fall short because they don’t address the broken spirit, mind-bending confusion, cognitive dissonance, unanswered questions, lack of closure and the callous post-discard behavior characteristic of break ups with narcissists.

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The Hashtag, #IfMyWoundsWereVisible, Is Raising Awareness About Narcissistic Abuse

 

 

June 1st is Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. Let’s raise awareness by using the hashtag ‪#‎IfMyWoundsWereVisible‬ on all social media.

Get involved in this campaign to raise awareness by logging into your Twitter account and send out a tweet using the hashtag #IfMyWoundsWereVisible and complete the sentence.

Let’s try to raise public awareness about this very covert and insidious form of abuse and also reach people with who may not be believed and let them know we believe them, we get it, and there is support and hope for happiness and freedom after narcissistic abuse. You can also click on the Twitter hashtag to read what other people have tweeted.

Here Are Some Special Offers In Support of This Event.

Richard Grannon, The Spartan Life Coach, has just released his new course on building better boundaries and it’s available for FREE.
You can find it here: http://buildbetterboundaries.com/

And…I have reduced the price of the soft cover version of my book, I Am Free, starting now through June 1st.

You can purchase, I Am Free, for the special price of $9.99 today and tomorrow.

iamfreecover2016xClick Here To Purchase

 

“I Am Free” A Cautionary Warning And An Illuminating Light

Front cover graphicI Am Free: Healing Stories About Toxic Relationships With Narcissists And Sociopaths

I Am Free, the title of this book embodies its core message. For anyone who has the misfortune of being embroiled in a toxic love relationship or family relationship, the essays shared by other survivors can serve as encouragement that escape is possible. None of the writers sugar coated their experiences or the degree of effort that it took to survive, leave and heal from such traumatic relationships.

Time and again, these writers shared that, charmed by their partner, they ignored their inner voices when those early alarm bells rang. Many of these individuals were well-educated, and had successful careers, until… they sank into the quicksand of toxic partnership.

These stories are brutally honest and chronicle the careful grooming process so typical of these kinds of unhealthy and damaging relationships. This makes for a challenging read, AND IT IS IMPORTANT that they are read as both a cautionary warning and an illuminating light so that others might escape and or avoid the perils that these stories narrate.

Written from the heart of survivors of narcissistic abuse, this collection of stories and poems will empower readers dealing with the aftermath of a toxic relationship and serve as a wake-up call to those who are in—or think they may be in—an abusive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath.

I Am Free validates and inspires the victims of toxic relationships with the experiences of people from all walks of life—featuring both women and men who have found the courage to survive abusive relationships either as adults or as children raised by narcissists and sociopaths. These vignettes are heavy, raw, and painful, but the ultimate message is one of hope—that it is possible to gain happiness and freedom after narcissistic abuse.

Click Here To Order

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Here are just a few of the reviews.

By Melissa408on May 23, 2016
Inspiration, validation and hope after darkness

If you are coming out a relationship with a narc/sociopath, it’s likely that you are feeling confused, crazy, lonely, angry, anxious, paranoid, lost, shame and even hopeless. The more research you do, the more the cognitive dissonance kicks in, the more you ignore your gut and rationalize that your partner could not be a narcissist. Loneliness and isolation are what “victims” feel so this is the book you need to read. Unlike other books, “I Am Free” incorporates data from NPD with real life, relatable stories from fellow survivors that are both uplifting and validating. This book is the loving, supportive, compassionate, understanding, friend we all desired following the aftermath of our break up. For most of us, our friends and family couldn’t help us they way we needed. Only fellow survivors can. I love that this book will help spread self-love and compassion after trauma. This is also a book for anyone who has had loved on in a toxic relationship and cant seem to understand why he/she “doesn’t just leave” and “get over it.”

By Shelby Richardson May 20, 2016
Wow! Excellent book, highly recommend it, exactly what I needed to set myself free!

This book has helped me in so many ways, strongly recommend it. We are victims that need to learn we are also survivors and we need to know we can and will survive it, one day at a time. The best way to learn to survive is learning all you can, and I have been following Bree for a long while now, to help understand, educate, and learn exactly how to set myself free. I AM FREE now, is a wonderful book to help, couldn’t  put it down. So glad to see others recover and read success stories, I found my way now and join me by finally being able to not only read I am Free but to say it and finally mean it that I survived and I AM FREE!!! 5 STARS

By Reader of all sorts on June 6, 2016
Stories And Truth Are Not Shared Over Coffee; No One Believes Them. This Book Will Change That…

Caught in the crosshairs of the cruel drama of damaging families and/or spouses, the sane individual becomes an innocent receptacle for incomprehensible devaluation. The thing is, they don’t even know why these people treat them so and accept that they are powerless. Stories and truth are not shared over coffee; no one believes them. The Malignant Narcissist has fooled the world until now, flashing his most charming facade at the rest of you and expects to continue to hide his enraged self as he has always done; lists of “traits” might give others a clue, but they can continue to hide in plain sight if that’s all you know. This book will change that.

“I AM FREE”, a collection of stories and poetry gathered by Bree Bonchay, tells others in similar relationships that what they are experiencing is real, has a name and is being met by indignation, support and validation in a world which formerly looked the other way, or worse, blamed the strength of those who battled to rise above the vindictiveness of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in their own lives. The words within this book, powerful and insightful, show the facility of these individuals to break free to a SELF-DEFINED reality, to understand those so disordered who nearly broke them and to want to help others by openly sharing how they endured the worst that everyday monstrous manipulators bring – and can say, “I AM FREE” to live, to love and share their unbelievable, true tales.

For more information about World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day and to find out how you can get involved go to. WNAAD

The Disturbing Combination of Narcissism And Food

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Have you noticed that so many narcissists exhibit disturbing behaviors around food? I mean, many of them hoard it and diligently keep track of every item in the refrigerator and pantry. Many don’t like to share it, not even with their own children. They often will make you feel bad for eating it. And at other times, they will make you feel bad for not eating it.

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Why Most Narcissists Devalue And Discard Their Partners

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Why do narcissists seem to pick the worst possible times to discard their partners? Are they really that cold-blooded that they not only break-up with you but also plan to do it at a time that would add insult to injury? What would motivate a narcissist to hurt someone they professed to love so much in such a heartless and brutal manner?

I have heard many stories of narcissists dumping their partners right before a major holiday, or on their partner’s birthday, or after their partner shared something very personal. I’ve also heard of narcissists ending relationships right before a special planned event, or when their partner was down on their luck, grieving the loss of a loved one or even diagnosed with a serious illness. The list of heartless, cold and calculating ways that narcissists end relationships continues on and on.

It is not your imagination. Indeed, it is true that the narcissist will purposely plan the timing of their breakups to occur during times when distress or vulnerability is extremely high in your life.

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How To Permanently Detach From A Narcissist

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There is a lot of information already on the internet about the “no contact rule” and how to implement it. The problem is with the passage of time, people develop relationship amnesia and just around the time relationship amnesia begins to set in, the narcissist, like a tornado, will regenerate and strike again. No contact is good but going Stover is even better. No that wasn’t a typo. Stover is a term a friend of mine coined that means the relationship is “So Totally OVER” or Stover. Going Stover is a lot like going no contact only on Red Bull, and best of all it protects against dreaded relationship amnesia.

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The 8 Most Common Narc-Sadistic Conversation Control Tactics

 

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Do you often engage in conversations with your narcissist that leave you feeling like you were talking to a brick wall – or worse, maybe leave you feeling like banging your head against a brick wall? Perhaps, it has even crossed your mind that you would have been better off conversing with a brick wall because the wall would have more capacity of providing understanding, validation, and empathy than the narcissist in your life!

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Happily Never After: Decoding Narcissistic Devaluation 

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Are you familiar with the parable of the boiling frog? The premise asserts that a frog submerged in boiling water will instinctively leap out, but if placed in tepid water that is gradually heated, the frog will be unable to discern the danger, resulting in it being cooked to death.

Metaphorically speaking, this story is cited to remind individuals that they need to be cognizant of gradual change as well as sudden change. Being unaware of, or brushing off, small changes in personalities or relationships that occur over time hinders instinctual wisdom. If one isn’t paying close attention, these changes are often only perceptible when piecing together clues that have occurred for a long period of time. Usually, this realization comes very late, often when lives have been altered in extremely negative and damaging ways.

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A Subtle Warning Sign of A Toxic Person

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The Department of Homeland Security has a color-coded terrorism alert system. Red, the highest level, means a severe risk of terrorist attacks. The lowest level, green, means low risk of terrorist attacks. Between those are Blue (guarded risk), yellow (significant) and then there is orange (high). There is a lesser known and very subtle early warning sign you may be dating a toxic person that you never hear about. It’s not quite the level of a red alert, but it is definitely in the orange to the red range and it should put you on high alert that you are in danger of being at the very least, emotionally abused, by a toxic person, narcissist or sociopath. It’s a tactic called Subtle Ignoring. It is generally a precursor to full-blown narcissistic abuse.

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