“I Am Free” A Cautionary Warning And An Illuminating Light

I Am Free: Healing Stories About Toxic Relationships With Narcissists And Sociopaths

I Am Free, the title of this book embodies its core message. For anyone who has the misfortune of being embroiled in a toxic love relationship or family relationship, the essays shared by other survivors can serve as encouragement that escape is possible. None of the writers sugar coated their experiences or the degree of effort that it took to survive, leave and heal from such traumatic relationships.

Time and again, these writers shared that, charmed by their partner, they ignored their inner voices when those early alarm bells rang. Many of these individuals were well-educated, and had successful careers, until… they sank into the quicksand of toxic partnership.

These stories are brutally honest and chronicle the careful grooming process so typical of these kinds of unhealthy and damaging relationships. This makes for a challenging read, AND IT IS IMPORTANT that they are read as both a cautionary warning and an illuminating light so that others might escape and or avoid the perils that these stories narrate.

Written from the heart of survivors of narcissistic abuse, this collection of stories and poems will empower readers dealing with the aftermath of a toxic relationship and serve as a wake-up call to those who are in—or think they may be in—an abusive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath.

I Am Free validates and inspires the victims of toxic relationships with the experiences of people from all walks of life—featuring both women and men who have found the courage to survive abusive relationships either as adults or as children raised by narcissists and sociopaths. These vignettes are heavy, raw, and painful, but the ultimate message is one of hope—that it is possible to gain happiness and freedom after narcissistic abuse.

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Here are just a few of the reviews.

By Melissa408on May 23, 2016
Inspiration, validation and hope after darkness

If you are coming out a relationship with a narc/sociopath, it’s likely that you are feeling confused, crazy, lonely, angry, anxious, paranoid, lost, shame and even hopeless. The more research you do, the more the cognitive dissonance kicks in, the more you ignore your gut and rationalize that your partner could not be a narcissist. Loneliness and isolation are what “victims” feel so this is the book you need to read. Unlike other books, “I Am Free” incorporates data from NPD with real life, relatable stories from fellow survivors that are both uplifting and validating. This book is the loving, supportive, compassionate, understanding, friend we all desired following the aftermath of our break up. For most of us, our friends and family couldn’t help us they way we needed. Only fellow survivors can. I love that this book will help spread self-love and compassion after trauma. This is also a book for anyone who has had loved on in a toxic relationship and cant seem to understand why he/she “doesn’t just leave” and “get over it.”

By Shelby Richardson May 20, 2016
Wow! Excellent book, highly recommend it, exactly what I needed to set myself free!

This book has helped me in so many ways, strongly recommend it. We are victims that need to learn we are also survivors and we need to know we can and will survive it, one day at a time. The best way to learn to survive is learning all you can, and I have been following Bree for a long while now, to help understand, educate, and learn exactly how to set myself free. I AM FREE now, is a wonderful book to help, couldn’t  put it down. So glad to see others recover and read success stories, I found my way now and join me by finally being able to not only read I am Free but to say it and finally mean it that I survived and I AM FREE!!! 5 STARS

By Reader of all sorts on June 6, 2016
Stories And Truth Are Not Shared Over Coffee; No One Believes Them. This Book Will Change That…

Caught in the crosshairs of the cruel drama of damaging families and/or spouses, the sane individual becomes an innocent receptacle for incomprehensible devaluation. The thing is, they don’t even know why these people treat them so and accept that they are powerless. Stories and truth are not shared over coffee; no one believes them. The Malignant Narcissist has fooled the world until now, flashing his most charming facade at the rest of you and expects to continue to hide his enraged self as he has always done; lists of “traits” might give others a clue, but they can continue to hide in plain sight if that’s all you know. This book will change that.

“I AM FREE”, a collection of stories and poetry gathered by Bree Bonchay, tells others in similar relationships that what they are experiencing is real, has a name and is being met by indignation, support and validation in a world which formerly looked the other way, or worse, blamed the strength of those who battled to rise above the vindictiveness of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in their own lives. The words within this book, powerful and insightful, show the facility of these individuals to break free to a SELF-DEFINED reality, to understand those so disordered who nearly broke them and to want to help others by openly sharing how they endured the worst that everyday monstrous manipulators bring – and can say, “I AM FREE” to live, to love and share their unbelievable, true tales.

For more information about World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day and to find out how you can get involved go to. WNAAD

Why Most Narcissists Devalue And Discard Their Partners

Why do narcissists seem to pick the worst possible times to discard their partners? Are they really that cold-blooded that they not only break-up with you but also plan to do it at a time that would add insult to injury? What would motivate a narcissist to hurt someone they professed to love so much in such a heartless and brutal manner?

I have heard many stories of narcissists dumping their partners right before a major holiday, or on their partner’s birthday, or after their partner shared something very personal. I’ve also heard of narcissists ending relationships right before a special planned event, or when their partner was down on their luck, grieving the loss of a loved one or even diagnosed with a serious illness. The list of heartless, cold and calculating ways that narcissists end relationships continues on and on.

It is not your imagination. Indeed, it is true that the narcissist will purposely plan the timing of their breakups to occur during times when distress or vulnerability is extremely high in your life.

Is The Narcissist As Happy With The New Woman As He Appears On Social Media?

So you think the narcissists is happier with the new woman? You couldn’t resist the urge to cyber-peek or muster the strength to block him, and now your Facebook feed is bombarded with shiny, happy couple photos of him and his new target looking oh-so-happily in love. Before you jump to conclusions, I want you to imagine a photograph of the typical, happy vacationing couple who have been together for only a short 4 months. Picture a cliché “ussie ” photo, a selfie photo but for couples, on a tropical white sandy beach with the ocean in the background that you have seen posted on Facebook a million times. Everyone who sees the picture while scrolling through their news feed thinks, “Oh, what a happy little vacationing couple they are!” “Those two are so cute together!” “They make such a great couple!”

Tips & Tricks To Move On After Narcissistic Abuse

Breaking up with a narcissist reminds me of my experience with childbirth. It’s scary. It hurts like hell. It’s not something you can ever really prepare for. You feel nervous, afraid and a little relieved. You have no idea what to expect. You’re thrust into unfamiliar terrain and filled with fear of the unknown. When you’re faced with an overwhelming life challenge and feel completely ill-equipped and unprepared to deal with it, you just have to have a little thing called faith, or what I call finding your Bertha.

How To Permanently Detach From A Narcissist

There is a lot of information already on the internet about the “no contact rule” and how to implement it. The problem is with the passage of time, people develop relationship amnesia and just around the time relationship amnesia begins to set in, the narcissist, like a tornado, will regenerate and strike again. No contact is good but going Stover is even better. No that wasn’t a typo. Stover is a term a friend of mine coined that means the relationship is “So Totally OVER” or Stover. Going Stover is a lot like going no contact only on Red Bull, and best of all it protects against dreaded relationship amnesia.

The 8 Most Common Narc-Sadistic Conversation Control Tactics

 

Do you often engage in conversations with your narcissist that leave you feeling like you were talking to a brick wall – or worse, maybe leave you feeling like banging your head against a brick wall? Perhaps, it has even crossed your mind that you would have been better off conversing with a brick wall because the wall would have more capacity of providing understanding, validation, and empathy than the narcissist in your life!

Happily Never After: Decoding Narcissistic Devaluation

Are you familiar with the parable of the boiling frog? The premise asserts that a frog submerged in boiling water will instinctively leap out, but if placed in tepid water that is gradually heated, the frog will be unable to discern the danger, resulting in it being cooked to death.

Metaphorically speaking, this story is cited to remind individuals that they need to be cognizant of gradual change as well as sudden change. Being unaware of, or brushing off, small changes in personalities or relationships that occur over time hinders instinctual wisdom. If one isn’t paying close attention, these changes are often only perceptible when piecing together clues that have occurred for a long period of time. Usually, this realization comes very late, often when lives have been altered in extremely negative and damaging ways.

The 4 Most Common Narc-Sadistic Triangulation Tactics

 

Triangulation is one of the favorite manipulation tools used by narcissists and sociopaths. It can also be a learned behavior that many people engage in who have grown up with a narcissistic parent or dysfunctional family dynamic. However, I think it’s important in any kind of relationship, that we learn to identify the early warning signs and red flags when interacting with people who display narcissistic and toxic behaviors. This way we can better protect ourselves from being exploited and abused and make good decisions about who we allow into our lives.